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An Uncaged Adventure reflections post by Rachael Hulse

“Nothing compares to Your embrace” This was the lyric this past Sunday that initiated a small break in my heart, filled my eyes with tears. Why? I’ve noticed over the past two years that as I have surrendered more to Christ, more occasions bring me to tears. I think it’s because I am no longer numb, no longer dead, I am alive. Therefore, because I am alive, I am aware. Aware of the joy, the sorrow, the filling up, the draining of, the hope, the hopelessness, the yearning, and the redemption of this world and those that are part of it.

I was surprised by the brimming of tears, and so I asked God for a reason, “why was this particular lyric hitting me so hard?” He brought the image, the not so distant memory of all the orphaned children I had the honor of embracing and being embraced by while in Panama. At the first orphanage Bluebird visited, MetroAmigo, I think we all had a little hesitation about having physical contact with any children. Not because we didn’t want to, but because we are all accustomed to the U.S. mindset of “any physical contact with a child that is not related to you may be seen as inappropriate, so when in doubt, don’t.” Well, we had to retire that mindset pretty quickly because the children were ruthless. We were seen as jungle gyms, dance partners, airplane rides, human swings, basically, indestructible. Why were these children so intent on having physical contact with us? So unabashedly curious and vulnerable? How could they have this much joy? Weren’t they aware of their situation? Didn’t they know we were only going to be there for an hour? Why were they letting themselves get attached? What could I do to actually help them? What good were we doing? Dancing wasn’t actually something that could improve their situation. Or was it?

All of these questions floating around in my mind, too much to bear and be present in the moment, I gave them up to God. “Lord Jesus, your will, you know the reason we’re here, I don’t need to know it, I just need to know what You want me to do right now.” What was our purpose, our tangible mission? It was to dance. So I danced. I twirled little girls whose faces lit up as they spun, I twirled little boys who hadn’t yet been told they’re not supposed to enjoy that. I picked up and spun as many hands as I could hold. And I prayed. I prayed that they would know a God who would pick them up when they reached their hands high, that would hold out a finger and twirl them till they were dizzy and their faces ached from smiling, that they would rely on that same God to forever embrace them when the parent that should be is nowhere to be found.

“So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.” ~1 Thessalonians 2:8

I am praying they know their worth not by this world’s standards but by the relationship that the God, most high, desires of and with them. 

Discovering one’s self worth is a difficult endeavor for any human in this world. It humbly, and powerfully begins in the affection we have from our earthly creators and caretakers; our parents. With that role empty, the leap to finding it in a God that is not of this world, that we cannot see, seems impossible. However, I don’t think Jesus came just to save us, He came to know us, and to let us know Him. He came to comfort, to heal, to listen, to understand, to be, with us. 

We couldn’t, can’t “save” every one, or even one of the beautiful orphaned children we met in Panama. What we could do was be with them. What we did do was dance with them and share countless laughs and smiles. What we will do is to continue praying for the children, the potential families, and that the government will continue to work towards uniting the two.

Heart's Cry Children's Ministry is doing amazing work to place the lonely in families in Panama. Click here to learn more.

Friday we toured Casa Providencia, a former US Army Barracks currently under renovation through Heart's Cry Children's Ministry to be a home for special needs orphans. When fully finished, the home will provide these children with the care and therapy they need to prepare them for adoption and foster care. More information here.

Saturday was the grand finale! We hosted and produced a collaborative show at Teatro Inida to highlight the work of Heart's Cry. It was so fun to bring the dance community together. Special thanks to Escuela de Danzas Teresa Mann, Studio 9, Movement Exchange, and Ballet Adorad and our 140 audience members. 

This year's Uncaged Adventure was tops. Panama, you and your people are beautiful. Thanks for being on the journey with us dear blog readers. 

Tuesday we were a bit touristy in Casco Viejo. We accomplished our goal of finding hammocks for Rachael and Jessica and may or may not have snuck into the Teatro Nacional before teaching that evening.

Wednesday was busy. We started the day bright and early at Junto Podemos elementary school in Curundu. Then  headed to Malambo orphanage before the group split up for the evening, half of us teaching and half of us visiting the youth group at Crossroads Church. Busy but so fun. 

Thursday, a few of us took class with Ballet Nacional de Panama. Then the whole team visited a young women's prison [Rebekah's thoughts here]. We taught that evening as well. 

Part 4 and the conclusion of our adventure coming soon!

We started Saturday off with a class for the community of Kuna Nega. Located a stone's throw from the Panama City dump, this community is rich in eager attentiveness, joy, and determination. 

Saturday evening, we had an outdoor presentation at Cinta Costera [Rebekah's reflections here]. 

Sunday we taught 2 workshops hosted by Studio 9. It was so fun to explore new ideas with these eager students. 

Monday was BEACH DAY!!!!

Stay tuned for pt. 3